Someone You Care About Is in Trouble
Danger first, then the words, then help for them and for you
How this tool worksA short, safety-first guide for when someone you care about could be at risk: suicide, abuse, drinking or drugs, a relapse, a mental health worry, a crisis, or stepping back. Danger first, then the words, then help for them and for you.Hide
A short, safety-first guide for when someone you care about could be at risk: suicide, abuse, drinking or drugs, a relapse, a mental health worry, a crisis, or stepping back. Danger first, then the words, then help for them and for you.
Use it when
Use it when you're worried about someone and keep putting off saying anything because you're scared of saying it wrong. It suits partners, family, friends and colleagues. If someone is in danger right now, call your local emergency number first; the guide opens with that and with crisis lines for the countries this app serves.
How to use it
- Say what is going on. Tap the situation. If anything they've said suggests suicide, choose that one whatever else is going on. Something sensitive that is not a safety risk opens the right planner instead.
- Is anyone in danger right now?. Answer this first. Yes brings up what to do now and the crisis lines; no means there is time to prepare.
- What to say. The words from the matching What to say page, each with the reason it works, what to steer clear of, and what the module adds for this situation.
- Your role, and your limits. Tap what you can realistically take on and how you are feeling about it; the tool answers back, and points you to the stepping-back guide if that is where you are. Note what limits you and who shares the load.
- Where to get help, and the map. Crisis lines, help for them, help for you, and the links to go deeper. Most conversations end on a four-line map you can copy or print. The abuse conversation has no map, no copy and no draft, because phones and messages can be monitored.
What you'll come away with
What to do if someone is in danger now, the words for the conversation with their reasons, an honest picture of your own role and limits, crisis lines and services for them and for you, and for most conversations a map to take into the room.
Step 1 of 5
Who are you worried about?
If someone could be at risk, this is the short way through: danger first, then the words, then help for them and for you.
If you're in immediate danger, call your local emergency number now. If you're not sure what it is, your phone's emergency dialler lists it.
What is going on?
Something sensitive, but not a safety risk?
These open the right planner with the matching page’s words built in.
- A health habit or check-upSmoking, sleep, weight, putting off a doctor's visit
- Death, dying and griefA loss, a terminal illness, end-of-life wishes
- Money troubleDebt, bankruptcy, losing a job
- A partner's behaviourSpending, phone use, housework, how they talk to your family
- Sexuality and sexual healthOrientation, intimacy, sexual health
- Gender identityBeing trans, gender expression, pronouns
- Infertility or pregnancy lossTrying to conceive, miscarriage, stillbirth
- Legal troubleCharges, lawsuits, immigration
- Politics and social issuesDeep disagreements on social questions
- Faith and religionLosing faith, changing faith, differences
Off unless you turn it on. Your answers stay in this browser only and are never sent anywhere. They’re deleted when you turn this off, press Start again, or after 14 days. If someone else uses or checks this device, leave it off.