Grief Support Companion
Be there for someone who's grieving
How this tool worksPlan how you'll support someone who is grieving: your first message, specific offers of help, and how you'll keep showing up in the months after.Hide
Plan how you'll support someone who is grieving: your first message, specific offers of help, and how you'll keep showing up in the months after.
Use it when
Use it when someone you care about has had a death in the family, lost a pet, a relationship, a job or a pregnancy, and you want to help but aren't sure how. It suits friends, family, colleagues and neighbours. If someone has just died, the grief app linked above has short cards for the first days.
How to use it
- Describe the loss. Pick the kind of loss, note what you know, and choose what they seem to need right now.
- Think about your connection. Say how close you are, how often you usually talk and how much you can realistically give.
- Choose how to reach out. Pick a way of being there, then decide when and how you'll first get in touch.
- Write your first message and offers. Draft a short first message and one or two specific offers, and read the signs that they may need more help.
- Plan the months ahead. Note regular check-ins, hard dates to remember, professional support to suggest if needed, and your own limits.
- Keep your plan. Read it back on one page, then copy it or download it to keep it somewhere safe.
What you'll come away with
A support plan you can act on today and come back to later: a first message ready to send, specific offers of help, a check-in rhythm, the dates that may be hard, and crisis lines for the countries this app serves in case you are ever worried about their safety.
Before you start
You'll plan how to support one person through a loss, in five short steps. It works for a death and for other losses too. Nothing you type is saved unless you turn on the option below, so copy or download your plan at the end.
Off unless you turn it on. Your answers stay in this browser only and are never sent anywhere. They’re deleted when you turn this off, press Start again, or after 14 days. If someone else uses or checks this device, leave it off.
What helps
- Everyone grieves differently, and at their own pace. Grief comes and goes rather than moving through tidy stages.
- Being there matters more than the right words. "I don't know what to say, but I'm here" is enough.
- Specific offers beat open ones. A meal on Thursday is easier to accept than "anything you need".
- Keep showing up. Support often thins out after the first weeks, just as the loss sinks in.
Lines that tend to hurt, however kindly meant
- "I know how you feel." Even if you've been through a loss yourself, theirs is theirs.
- "They're in a better place" or "Everything happens for a reason." Unless you know they believe it, it can sound like a justification.
- Anything starting with "At least". It tends to shrink the loss.
- "You need to be strong" or "It's time to move on." It can feel like being told not to grieve.
- "Let me know if you need anything." It puts the work on them. Make one specific offer instead.
- Staying away because you're scared of getting it wrong.