Question Architecture Builder
Plan questions that take a conversation deeper
How this tool worksPlan better questions for a conversation that matters. Build a short ladder of questions that starts easy and goes deeper, or borrow ready-made ones for your situation.Hide
Plan better questions for a conversation that matters. Build a short ladder of questions that starts easy and goes deeper, or borrow ready-made ones for your situation.
Use it when
Use it before a date, a family dinner, a catch-up with an old friend or a talk after a disagreement, whenever you want to get past "How was your week?" without making anyone uncomfortable. It also helps if you go blank when a conversation stalls.
How to use it
- Build a ladder. Write three to seven questions, starting with an easy opener and going a little deeper with each rung. Change the kind of question for any rung if you like.
- Borrow ideas. Open Ideas by situation and choose where you will be, such as a family dinner or after a conflict, to see a dozen questions from light to deep.
- Save the keepers. Save your ladder, or single questions, to your library. Copy any question with one tap.
- Take them with you. Before the conversation, open My library and copy or print the questions you want, then remember to ask a follow-up after each answer.
What you'll come away with
You come away with a short, ordered set of questions for a real conversation, plus a growing library of questions that sound like you. Answer them yourself too, so it feels like a conversation rather than an interview.
Build a question ladder
Write three to seven questions for a conversation you have coming up, starting easy and going a little deeper each time.
Why go step by step
In Arthur Aron's 1997 study, strangers who took turns answering questions that grew gradually more personal felt noticeably closer after 45 minutes than pairs who made small talk.
Two things from that study are worth borrowing: go deeper a little at a time, and answer your own questions too, so it feels like a conversation rather than an interview.
Easy and interesting: starts the conversation and builds a little warmth.
Invites stories and experiences: goes a layer deeper into thoughts and feelings.
Touches values, hopes and what matters most, once trust is there.
Write at least one question and your ladder will appear here, ready to save or copy. Stuck? Borrow some from Ideas by situation.
Where to next
Remember the follow-up: the first question matters less than what you ask after hearing the answer.