Family Planner
Your child, your parents, siblings, the wider family, the generations
How this tool worksPlan one family conversation, or a rhythm for staying close: your child at any age, your own parents, siblings, the wider family, or generations that keep talking past each other.Hide
Plan one family conversation, or a rhythm for staying close: your child at any age, your own parents, siblings, the wider family, or generations that keep talking past each other.
Use it when
Reach for it when a child has gone quiet, a teenager needs a hard conversation, an ageing parent needs a worry raised, siblings have drifted or disagree about care, an in-law needs a boundary, or a grandparent and a teenager cannot talk. Tap who it is about and the conversation; every idea after that fits the people you named, and the lines come from the matching What to say page.
How to use it
- Pick who and what. Tap who it is about (your child, your own parents, siblings, the wider family, the generations), then the conversation, or 'just getting closer' for a plan without one. For a child or siblings, tap their age, and whether you are the parent or one of the siblings.
- What gets in the way. Tap up to three. Each answers back with an idea, and the ideas go on your plan. On the wider-family branch the tool says plainly that nobody owes anyone a relationship that hurts.
- What you hope for, and how. Tap what you most want to change, then up to three ways to connect. Each way answers with its first idea for your family: a teenager gets a lift with the music on, a grown-up child gets a call where you ask and listen.
- Your rhythm. The ideas from the ways you picked, sorted by how often: every week or two, every month or so, a few times a year. Pick one per row, print the card, and add the first one to your calendar. A plan without a particular conversation ends here.
- Words, practice and the map. For a conversation: your opening and the one thing you most need to say, borrowed from the page or written from scratch, a which-would-you-say pair, the rehearsal, then the conversation map with your rhythm and your ideas underneath.
What you'll come away with
A rhythm card you can print, with a calendar entry for the first touch, the ideas for what gets in the way, and your focus for the next few months. For a conversation, a four-line map you can copy or print, and links to the What to say page and the Family Pack module it draws on.
Step 1 of 4
Which family conversation?
Tap who it is about, then the conversation. The tool answers back, and every idea after this fits the people you named.
Who is it about?
Initials are fine. It goes on your rhythm card and your map.
Off unless you turn it on. Your answers stay in this browser only and are never sent anywhere. They’re deleted when you turn this off, press Start again, or after 14 days. If someone else uses or checks this device, leave it off.