Deeper Dialogues

What do you need to say?

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What to say

Money

Quoting your price without flinching

A client asks "how much?", or says your rate is higher than the others they've spoken to. You spent hours on the proposal, and now it feels like it's being reduced to a number.

What they need from you, and why

A client asking "how much?" or "can you do better?" is usually doing what the module calls smart business: comparing quotes, checking a benchmark or trying to fit a real budget. Clients rarely resist a high price they understand; what they resist is a price they can't see the reason for. For you, though, a pricing question stirs up worth, confidence and professional identity, which is why one line in an email can send you into the spiral the module describes: rehearsing justifications, second-guessing your rate and working out the minimum you'd accept, often before they've pushed back at all.

What they need is to see what the fee buys. The module's VALUE framework is built for that: Visualise the outcome, Articulate what's distinctive about your approach, Link the price to results rather than hours, Understand their concerns, and Educate them about what goes into the work. Hermann Simon, co-founder of the pricing consultancy Simon-Kucher, argues from decades of consulting that what customers are willing to pay reflects the value they perceive; a fee that looks high on its own can look reasonable once the client can see what it buys. The module notes this is a practitioner's argument rather than a controlled study, and a widely respected one.

The research the module leans on is anchoring. Amos Tversky and Daniel Kahneman (1974) showed that the first number people see pulls their later estimates towards it, even when that number is irrelevant, and in negotiation experiments Adam Galinsky and Thomas Mussweiler (2001) found that whoever made the first offer tended to get the better deal. That advantage disappeared when the person receiving the offer focused on information that cut against it, such as their own target price, which is worth remembering when you're handed a low number. So talk about the value of the outcome before the fee, and hold your own figure in mind when they name theirs. The module's photographer, Jess in Adelaide, stopped sending a price list and started every enquiry with a 20-minute call about the client's goals; once they'd told her what the photos needed to achieve, they stopped comparing her with the photographer down the road.

Understand it properly

First

Before you say a number, ask what they're trying to achieve, so the price arrives after the value and not before it.

You could say

  • Before I give you a number, can I ask what you're hoping this will do for the business?

    The module's order is goals, then approach, then price. A fee that arrives after the outcome it buys reads as an investment; a fee on its own becomes the anchor.

  • For that, the fee is [amount].

    Say it plainly, then stop. The pricing spiral starts when you keep talking: justifying, second-guessing, working out your minimum before they've said a word.

  • I appreciate you being upfront about that. Can I walk you through what's included, so you're comparing like with like?

    The module's answer to "your rates seem high" is neither to defend nor to discount. It moves the question from "is it too expensive?" to "what am I getting?".

  • What did the other quotes include? I want to make sure we're comparing the same thing.

    Comparing quotes is smart business, and the difference is usually in what's covered. Asking respects their sense and tells you what you're really being compared with.

  • Rather than cut the price, could we phase it? Start with what matters most now and add the rest later.

    When the budget is real, options beyond a discount keep the work worth doing and the result worth having. A cheaper version that doesn't solve the problem helps nobody.

  • Getting this wrong would cost you a lot more than getting it right the first time.

    Part of what the fee buys is lower risk, which the module lists among the ways to explain value. Say it only when it's true for their job.

If it goes badly

Three ways this can turn. Read the one that happens; the others can wait.

You've said something like

Before I give you a number, can I ask what you're hoping this will do for the business?

  • If they say it's simply more than they have

    I'm glad the approach suits you. Let's see what we can do within that budget that still gets you the result. Which parts matter most?

    A budget limit is a fact, not an insult. Phasing or simplifying keeps the work worth doing on both sides, where a straight cut usually doesn't.

  • If they go quiet, or say they'll think about it

    Of course. What would help you decide? I'm happy to break down exactly what's included.

    Price resistance often comes from a budget limit, a bad past experience or unclear expectations, and you can only answer the one you've heard. Listening is the U in the module's VALUE framework.

  • If they push for a lower number anyway

    I understand. The price is the price for this scope, and I'd rather change the scope than the quality. Shall I put together two options?

    Options beat a tug of war over one figure. The module also suggests a financial buffer, so you can walk away from work that undervalues you; a client who only wants you cheap is not the one you're trying to keep.

Share these words

Send them to yourself, or to someone helping you.

Try not to say

  • "I could do 20% off if that helps."

    An instant discount devalues the work before any other option has been explored, and teaches the client that your first number is never your real one.

  • "You get what you pay for."

    It's defensive, and it brushes off a budget concern that is probably real.

  • "I don't work for industry rates."

    It sounds arrogant. Acknowledge the benchmark, then explain what's different about what they're buying.

  • Leading with the number

    Lead with price and you invite comparison shopping; lead with value and you invite an investment decision.

  • Explaining the price three times

    Rehearsed justifications sound like doubt. The module's observation is that clients would often have said yes to the original price if you'd held it with confidence.

Afterwards

Whatever they decide, don't go back afterwards and quietly lower the number. If they said yes, set out your payment terms in conversation before the work begins: Clarify is the first step of the module's COLLECT framework, and prevention beats collection. If they said no, that's information about this client and this budget, not about your worth. Then do the things the module says build pricing confidence: keep a record of your results and your clients' successes, be able to say what sets you apart in a sentence or two, practise the conversation until it feels natural rather than defensive, and build a buffer so you can decline work that undervalues you.

Understand it properly

The words above come from these. A section is about ten minutes; the whole module is there when you have longer.

Where this comes from
  • Deeper Dialogues, Business & Professional Money Relationships: the pricing spiral, the VALUE framework, the value-first response, pricing scenarios (price comparison, budget constraint, scope creep, industry rates), value techniques, confidence builders, anchoring (Tversky and Kahneman, 1974; Galinsky and Mussweiler, 2001), Hermann Simon, the Adelaide photographer, the COLLECT framework

We gather and pass on what researchers and support organisations have found. This isn't a replacement for a doctor, counsellor or support service.